


Would the real Harry Potter please stand up

by Ehollis303 (TalonWillow)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Polyjuice Potion, Stripper Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:17:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22715935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalonWillow/pseuds/Ehollis303
Summary: Testing potions in the lab is a sometimes tedious and boring job. Harry's betting though that he can make Hermione and his upcoming Hen and Stag night one for the books if he can throw in a little research and development as well. A little bit of Polyjuice potion, some Really good friends and his beautiful fiance will make this night Magic !
Relationships: Hermione/Harry
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29
Collections: Hermione's Haven Bingo 2020





	Would the real Harry Potter please stand up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first story/one shot/thing/what ever you want to call this I have ever written. So, please be nice ! I much prefer to speak through pretty pictures than with words.  
> This was for the HHBingo 2020 and fulfilled my square #n3 writers choice.

"Really Hermione, the point of a Hen do is to have a night of freedom from the groom-to-be, not have him in the same room as you." Ginny said as she strapped her heels on admiring the added height they gave her, not that she needed any.

"I know Gin, but Harry said he had something he and Draco had been working really hard on and we need all the work we can get for our research business ." Hermione responded back while adjusting her customary yet in her mind tacky sash that read THE FUTURE MRS. POTTER. They were preparing for her hen party that was up until 3 hours ago sans men. After getting an urgent patronus message alerting her to the change in plans she had no choice but to trust this would turn out eventful. No one could say Hermione Granger, soon to be Granger-Potter wasn't flexible.

As soon as Hermione and Ginny floo'd into Malfoy Manor they immediately saw they were in for a treat, they saw Seamus Finnigan standing over at a bar area shirtless but for a bowtie and low slung muggle jeans serving drinks to ladies that were already there. A magical fog was filling the room over by a stage with a pole coming out of the middle of it and it dawned on Hermione that Malfoy Manor had turned into a muggle strip club ! They were seated up by the front by none other than Blaise Zabini who was dressed quite similar to Seamus.

Hermione, being a smart woman, was starting to piece together what was going on.

"Gin, I think my charming fiance is going to put on a strip show for us" she said as she started drinking her bright pink drink Blaise had placed in front of her.

The slow steady jazz music stopped and the seductively charming voice of none other than Sirius Black filled the room.

" Ladies and Gentleman, come on you witches, let's put your hands together for….."

There was a beat now, steady almost like a heartbeat. Hermione could tell it was the song Closer by NIN.This was Harry and her " get down" song.

"What is he thinking?" She thought out loud giggling while looking next to her at her best girlfriend who was also looking around astonishingly, wondering what this night was going to bring!

"...Harry Potter". Sirius finished his previous held phrase obviously wanting to draw out the dramatic elements.

On the dark stage stood a silhouetted figure doused in black except for when the beat hit as the intro was on a loop a pink light would flash but not enough to give Hermione a glimpse of her man.

"And please welcome the other Harry Potter to stage " Sirius added as another body was sauntering in time to the music onto the stage next to the first one once more only silhouetted in black but when the beat hit and the dazzling light would illuminate the stage briefly.

Hermione looked down at the pink fizzy drink that Blaise had apparently replaced as she must have already drank the first one, and thought to herself she couldn't be that pissed yet, but Sirius did just say the other Harry Potter… and he wasn’t done talking.

" And now a super warm and extra long if you're willing, warm welcome for this next Harry Potter!"

Three, there were three nearly identical figures on the stage, but she could feel him, her Harry was here !

" And ladies get your galleons warmed up for this last Harry Poooootttttteeeeeerrrrrrr !

At that last long held out note of Sirius voice, the lights in the house went up and the first chorus of the music started and there he...well...they were.

Four Beautiful Harry's were moving and gyrating their bodies around on stage in such ways that everyone was on their feet cheering them on.

The first one she noticed was looking straight at her with a savage hunger in his eyes and was wearing a schoolboy uniform minus the robes and was slowly taking his tie off all the while undulating his hips to the harsh staccato beat of the music. She didn't want to take her eyes from him but she had to look to the next ...him.

Hermione had figured out his game. Draco, Harry and She had just started their research firm and one of the projects they were working on in the lab had been a variation of polyjuice potion. He was using their hen and stag party as a quality control experiment and she had never been more turned on in her life ! He knew what he was doing!

The second Harry, whom she was 100 percent sure was not Harry, was bent almost backwards like a crab at the edge of the platform with the crotch of his leather pants at face level with Blaise Zabini! Leather-pants-Harry was definitely Draco !

Now onto Harry #3 who was covered in tattoos and was showing better dance skills than she had ever seen in that muggle movie Magic Mike. He was sensuously grabbing at his body and by the glances all around her she could tell everyone else was getting into as much as he was.

Before she had a chance to really watch Harry #4 whom she had dubbed " her harry" she was yanked up on by her arm by the now shirtless schoolboy-Harry. Without missing a beat (by this time the beat had changed to Ushers "yeah" so it was a little more uptempo) schoolboy-Harry had her in a chair and with his trousers unbuttoned and unzipped he had started to give her a lap dance.

All the while her Harry was behind her while she was seated and slowly feeling down her arms caressing her to the music watching her watch...er...him. She leaned back and through the deafening roar of the music and the loud beating of her own heart she said "Thank you, my Harry...you have made my night more enjoyable than any stuffy night at the pub could ever be."  
And she bent her neck to kiss him on the lips as Chastely as one could with a man straddling and riding her thighs with his cowboy hat high in the air as Harry #2 had come over and was joining in the lapdance comradery.

" How do you know for sure I am the right one ?" Her Harry beseeched her with a smile on his lips.

Hermione slowly pushed cowboy and schoolboy Harry off of her just as the music volume faded and everyone ceased their noise trying to see if she had figured it out correctly or not.

Ever the educator, she stood and walked next to cowboy-Harry who had casually landed on his back with one leg over the other, a true feat in leather pants.

"Draco let me help you up so you don't embarrass yourself in front of your boyfriend." she said to him offering a hand to cowboy Harry-turned Draco as he smiled at her and dipped his hat in true southern gentleman charm. (Blaise has got to stop letting him watch  
muggle reality TV, ugh! )

She then turned to tattoo'd Harry, who had not touched her, which she thought was strange since the other three were quite handsy... hmm curious if that was in Harry's original playbook for this evening.

" Neville, your dancing has always been superb!" She said to him with a smile as he smiled back in a lopsided, charming yet so not Harry smile.Yes, definitely Neville!

She then turned to schoolboy-Harry, who was running his hands through his hair in a I just got caught doing something I ought not to be doing way.

" Ronald"

That's all she needed to say. He knew. She knew. He had wanted to get his hands on her since 6th year.

Feeling properly chastised but still feeling good and ready to dance Ron jumped down the platform towards his on-again off-again girlfriend lavender and tried kissing up on her as Harry as she giggled and swatted him away.

As Hermione watched she felt her Harry come up behind her and clasp his hands around her middle while resting his chin on her shoulder.  
"How long were you sure ? You know, for research sake ? " he asked

" I felt you, my magic felt you, with the music I felt you. I could feel the real Harry Potter just about anywhere." She replied as she turned in his arms on the stage, ignoring everyone else in the room…

"You know what that means….We're gonna need a bigger batch ".

The END


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